I have been thinking about welfare again. I ranted about it on an earlier blog and I just can't get it out of my head nor my heart.
Why? I suppose it is because even though I am a very conservative person, I used to be a tree hugging, hairy, hard-core liberal. I was. In some ways I still am.
What I carried over from those days was my ability to look and feel what the other guy is feeling. Not that us on the the side of conservatism do not or cannot do that, it is just different some how. What I learned on this side of the isle is to say I am sorry and really mean it. I learned that the truth is way more important than a cause.
So, I suppose what I am saying is that even though I did switch sides relatively late in my life, I feel so much more well rounded. I suggest everyone do it. It is very eye opening and I think you will become a better person for it. I feel like I have. At least I hope so.
I promise, one day I will talk about all my reasons for becoming all conservative in my political thinking. Just not today, today I want to talk about welfare.
So, back to welfare. I keep thinking that it is a good thing to have a welfare system in our country. To be sure, I am not an expert. I only know what I see or have been exposed to.
So let us back tract to my first real experiences with welfare. My aunt was being beat senseless by her husband and so were my cousins. She came to live with us in the early 1970's. I was very little and did not know that my cousins were being hurt by one of my still favorite uncles and that my aunt was being beaten by him. This kind of thing happens in all races and socioeconomic classes.
Our tiny little house was filled with six kids and three adults and two dogs. My mom did not work and my dad was working as a welder for a large company then. He had not opened his business yet. To my family, If I do not remember the facts right, just tell me, I was very little. This happened a few more times with my aunt and my cousins and we all went through the process again before everyone got their head screwed on right. Eventually, my uncle got his act together and things worked out for them.
We had to go grocery shopping and my aunt paid for half of the food with food stamps. I remember not knowing what they were and asking in my loud little girl voice what they were. I was also a little ashamed at the amount of food we had at the checkout. My aunt was so mortified about my outburst and my mother was more than annoyed that I would cause any kind of commotion in her presence that she banished me and my cousins to stand in front of the store until they were done. She simply quirked her eyebrow, pursed her lips and pointed towards the front of the store. We ran for our lives.
I remember feeling so sad and confused because I did not understand what I had done that was so wrong. I had simply asked a question. I felt shame that I had caused my mother and aunt any discomfort and was silent and remorseful until my mother had a chance to speak to me later.
She explained to me that my aunt and my cousins were in trouble and needed a place to stay right now and that is why they were staying with us until they could figure out what to do. You see my mother raised my aunt because their mother had died of breast cancer when they were just children. My mother, at the age of 17 assumed the role of raising her sister and caring for her father and brothers. She started caring for her family at the age of 14 when her mother became sick. So, my aunt came home to the only mother she knew.
She told me that food stamps were from the American Government for people who found themselves in scary and bad situations and they helped them feed themselves temporarily until they could get jobs, places to live and be safe once again. She told me that it was not looked on as a good thing to take welfare and people thought poorly of others who took food stamps as being less than everyone else. She said no one wanted to be on welfare. She said everyone wanted to be independent and make it on their own.
By now I had tears streaming down my face and I felt horrible. My mother was the queen of guilt and could make you punish yourself with a few placed words. I told her I didn't know and I was sorry. She said she knew but she wanted me to know that my aunt was going to start a new job within the week and in a month she would be moving out and not need any more assistance from the government. That she wanted to contribute to our family and the food stamps were the only thing she had. That we should always be gracious and say thank you to any gift that was offered. She explained that we did not need her help but when you are in a position of not having anything and feeling helpless, those food stamps for my aunt gave her some dignity. That we needed to do everything we could to make her and my cousins feel good about themselves and love them.
She told me that welfare was only to help you for a month or maybe two. That she was proud of my aunt for doing right by my cousins and taking care of what needed to be taken care of. Of course, I was sworn to not talk about our little conversation and to remember to always be charitable and gracious.
My aunt has never had it easy nor have my cousins but they are tough people and all of them pay their own way. All three of my cousins are hard workers and would work three jobs before any of them would take a dime of welfare. They learned well from their mothers example and decided that being on your own was much better than dependent on others.
So, why or what is my issue? OK, lets talk about my first years as a nurse. I was working in the heart of Santa Ana. I was a Labor and Delivery nurse and 99% of our patients came straight across from the boarder. Each of these women had little or no pre-natal care, they spoke little or no English and they came here to have their babies.
I did not know this then but I know this now. I was there to be a helpful young nurse. I had ideals then. I had no idea what really was. I did not know this then but I know this now that all those babies were instant American citizens and that those mommies had to stay here because of their children. I did not know that those mommies got significant amounts of welfare money from our government basically for life and that money kept growing for each baby they had. Wow.....It was like a welfare jackpot. Cha Ching!! Just push out a baby and you get money. Nice.
So, I went to university and became a nurse. Not an incredible achievement but a small triumph. I worked 40 or more hours a week then. Yet, because I had a job, if I would have had a baby, I would have had to pay for it, feed it with money I earned, pay for child care with the money I earned....OK you see the theme.
Yet, this group of women did and still do not have to do a thing other than continue to breed more babies. These women did not even have to prepare breakfast and lunches for their children who attended school because this is provided for them with money from tax dollars. Hells bells, my hair was on fire trying to get breakfast in my child and lunch prepared for my only daughter and out the door to childcare so I could get to work on time.
OK...wait a minute these women don't have to get up at 04:30 in the morning and get ready for work? They don't have to prepare lunches or breakfasts for their children? They role out of bed and leisurely take their children to school? OH, wait? They don't pay taxes? I pay taxes. There is something so wrong with this picture.
These women come here as criminals because they crawled over here as illegals. Yes, they broke the law. I call it as I see it. We cannot deport them because their children are now citizens and then we ignore that they are criminals and they get to have the life of Riley? This is only part of my problem.
Then there are the US citizens who do the same thing as the illegal ones. They use the welfare system as their own personal ATM machine. UM... I say no. Enough is enough. Then there are those that say, they have no opportunity, they have no chance. We live here in America. Yes, there is opportunity at every street light. It is what you make of it.
I cannot say anything about the disabled or medically disabled. If a MD says they are disabled then they are. If an MD says they cannot work, then they cannot work. This is what some of our taxes are for. If we were not paying for so many that could actually work, then those that truly needed it would be taken care of so much better. Then of course, there are those that lie about being disabled. I have not a clue were to begin with that one.
I so get wanting to come here for a better life. I would want to come here too. I would do anything to come here. In fact, I might even come here pregnant and pop one out so no one would make me leave. Then I would do everything I could to become a citizen, learn the language, get a job and make my own way. I would teach my children to be citizens of the United States and still keep their cultural heritage and do everything I could to make sure I was beholden to no one. I would be ashamed to think that or believe that all this bounty is free. Nothing is free.
What do I think we should do? We need to stop what we are doing right now. Obviously it is not working. It needs to be so hard to receive welfare and food stamps for longer than three months that you literally need to give them your first born to get it.
I say, welfare should only pay for one child (thinking out loud). You get to have one surprise baby and all the birth control you want. If you have another surprise, then that first one is the only one you get any welfare money for. If you have more than one, you get to figure out how to budget your welfare money on what you have. I think that is incentive enough to figure out how to get off welfare, get a job and take care of yourself. The rest of us do not get more money with each child we have. We have to figure it out, welfare recipients need to figure it out as well.
I also think that you cannot buy any junk food, cigarettes, booze or have the privilege of going to restaurants on food stamps. Don't know, if you can or can't do this or not. Food stamps/EBT cards should have your name on them and you need an ID to use them, so you can't sell them for money. You need to be free of all drugs, cigarettes or alcohol, when receiving aid from the State. If your recovering, you need to be in a program and actively attending and participating to receive the assistance.
The goal is to get off of the Welfare program and get a job and support your family or self. I say put so many rules and regulations on each welfare participant that you micromanage their lives do death. Make them miserable so they will run from welfare and want to get a job. Like living at home with a helicopter mother.
I know that those of you who receive welfare think that those of us who don't are horrible for not seeing your side. I say, if you are an able bodied person, then you need to work and earn your way. There is no reason that you should not be in the work force. Get off drugs or your lazy butt and do what needs to be done. If you are mentally disabled or physically disabled, then go to a MD and let the MD say so.
I say once you work and see how hard it is to earn one hour of wages, then you see how much is taken away in taxes you will realize how precious those tax dollars are and how much you want them used for people who truly cannot work and for people with children who are disabled.
Then I hear that it is so hard to get a job. Not really, I know of people who were laid off from their jobs and work three crap jobs or four awful jobs to pay for an apartment and put food on the table. They figure it out. They might have lost their fancy home and cars but they downsize and figure it out. It is only stuff. What matters is people. Your people, your family. They just do what has to be done in order to be good examples for their children and do the right thing in front of enormous adversity. These folks keep at it until they can educate themselves into another job or something that they left before. They never give up.
So, what about the people who have lived in the ghetto for generations? This is a puzzle. I have met a few that have come out of this place and admire them. They are true heroes but they have no patience for those still living in that place. They say there is always a way out. That it is ignorance and laziness that keep those in the walls of that fake prison. That it is much easier to say yes to being a person who thrives in the ghetto than a person who says no. I say be the person who says no and step out off that path and come out and see everything else. Be not afraid. I think Jesus/God might have said that.....(smirk)
I would love to be part of welfare reform but I would hate to hear we can't do that. I do not like the word can't. I want to be part of the can do world and the change world. The world were people earn what they have and have the possibility of being more than what they are. I see welfare as maintenance and keeping people as is. When people have to strive for more and have something to work for they become so much better then what they are.
If we were the can world then all those on welfare would reach for the stars instead of the checks they receive. They would stop starting blankly into their government bought TV's and smart phones and read books that would inspire their souls. We might have country of people who became who they were supposed to become instead of mere shadows of what they could have become.
I remember way back when it was dawning on me the real problem with our system. I had just swaddled a beautiful baby girl. Her 15 year old mother was sleeping and I had given her first baby a bath. Her mothers feet were filthy and she looked like she had walked through hell to get here. She had just got to the hospital in time to drop the baby in my hands. The Doctor had not made it. I caught this little girl and the Doctor made it for the placenta. The family had not caught up with this young mother yet. They would find her soon and the celebration would begin. I was alone with the baby. These times were rare. I looked at her little face and thought what will you be little girl? Will you become a Doctor, Lawyer, Nurse? I wanted it to be true. I did. Yet, I knew that most likely she would be having a child of her own by the time she was 14 or 15. I almost was ready to cry but was called away to another delivery. I placed her in a crib next to her mom and went back to work. What could I do? I pray for common sense. That is all I can ever do.
I would like the story to be different. I would like hope for everyone to be real and reachable. I think, if we go on with our system like it is now, we will never have hope. We need to make people want to reach for more. As long as we keep people chained to welfare with just a bit to much then they will never want more. I know, that when I feel that I am not making enough money, I get another certificate or whatever I need to get another job. I make it happen. I am just like everyone else. If I want more, I do what it takes to get more. I don't expect someone to give me more simply because I exist.
So, what do you think? Should we continue to give and give without being watchful or requiring anything in return? I don't think so. I think if people are going to be on welfare forever and be able bodied then we need to make them accountable until they can't stand it anymore and grow up and take account of themselves. Then we will be able to use what we have to really take care of those who really need it.
