Personal freedom and cheeseburgers

I have not blogged for a very long time.  I am not sure why.  I always have a lot on my mind and a lot to say.  Yet, blogging has seemed so very far from my fingers.  

I suppose I have been stewing in my juices.  Just watching and waiting the world spin and the people do what people do.  The world never disappoints.  I am always entertained by what happens around me...even the most ordinary of things.  

I have talked about being over weight and middle aged before.  Right?  Not that I was ever this drop dead beauty before but from what I gather I was striking in appearance and not ordinary in any way. However, when I look in the mirror I do not see that.  I see a blur of color and do my best to put together something that will not scare or traumatize small children.  It is one of  my daily goals.  

I suppose that being molested as a young child of four has something to do with my self esteem and my life long battle with weight.  That is what I have read and come to the conclusion about.  I really do try to eat well and I want to be thinner.  It is just that being thinner is so scary and there is so much attention attached to it.  When you are fat, people ignore you and look away.  Fat equals invisible unless someone points out your sin of fatness.  Fat it is so much easier.  I just don't like not having or wearing beautiful clothes or being able to cross your legs ,when sitting in a chair.  

Now becoming older is the worst.  The list of being older is a list of horrible things and hateful.   I would rather do without being older.  I did not mind being fat and beautiful.  When you have beauty, the fat thing seems to be less somehow.  Being fat and old is a nightmare.  There seems to be no sin greater than to have a fat belly and to be growing old and faded.  An example would be Elizabeth Taylor.  She was mocked for her fatness even though she was so truly beautiful on the inside and outside.  

So, I found myself in great need of a cheeseburger.  Usually, I would eat my cheeseburgers at home in the dark or alone.  I would confess my sin of this great calorie intake to no person because it is a sin that women are not allowed unless they are very thin and very young.  

I was at work and the opportunity presented itself for me to actually leave the building and go and purchase a cheeseburger.  I did so and brought back a double cheeseburger and fries with a large diet coke.  I sat myself down and began to eat.  

There is a man that I work with who has become a Vegan.  He is almost militant about his Vegan"ness" and he proceeded to tell me how disgusting my cheeseburger was and with every bite I took he had something negative to say.  Then the whole break room had something to say about my calorie intake and how bad the food I was eating was for me.  

I was like what the Hell?  I proceeded to eat with great relish and basically told them to go  F%$K themselves in the nicest and best possible way I could.  I kept thinking that, if I was a man, not one person would have said a thing about what I was eating regardless of my size.  Yet,  an overweight middle aged women is open for ridicule and admonishment without filters.  

What gives anyone the right to tell anyone what they can eat and when?  I have eaten a cheeseburger at my current place of employment six times in 14 years.  I know because I am very careful about what I eat for lunch and do my best to eat healthy.  Sometimes a girl wants to eat a cheeseburger for lunch and that is that.  

I have seen 350 pound men eat cheeseburgers everyday and no one said a peep.  Why is it that my cheeseburger erupts a break room into chaos?  Why?  Because, I am a women and they believe there are no repercussions for such behaviors and it is OK to bully someone like me and that in doing so I will stop eating cheeseburgers immediately.  That I will eat salads and loose weight and look like a women is supposed to look.  I have no idea what a women is supposed to look like but I guess it is something like a 12 year old boy.  I heard that is the new shape for women.  Thank God for them and their helpful comments.  I might not be able to think for myself without such comments.  Not.  

No, I don't think so.  I think people should keep their Cheeseburger comments to themselves unless I would have said something like...."Do you think I should not eat this?' or " Am I to fat to be eating this?"  Only then are any ones comments allowed.  However, I did not ask and that is when those folks should keep their big mouths shut.  Just saying.  

So, I did not enjoy my much needed cheeseburger and my co-workers comments really were very harmful to my self esteem and my digestion.  There was only one person in that break room who stood up for me and she was awesome.  Yet, they ignored her.  Apparently, being an asshole bully is.  My cheeseburger joy was sucked right out of the room by a bunch of progressive libtards.  

Anyway, after a great deal of thought, I came up with this.  We live in the land of freedom.  If you want to be a fat, then be fat.  If you want to smoke, smoke.  No one person should tell you how to live and conduct your personal freedoms.  My eating a cheeseburger once or twice a year is not going to destroy the world.  A person who smokes in their own back yard or car is not hurting anyone but themselves.  Let them smoke without question.  It is their lungs.  Not your lungs to be responsible for. 

We should be free to live our private lives without ridicule dictated by what the public thinks.  Meaning, just because the media and world say that fast food is so wrong for us does not mean that it gives anyone the right to tell a fellow human how wrong they are about eating fast food for lunch.  If I am force-feeding you a cheeseburger a day, then maybe, but one or two cheeseburgers a year for my own tummy is no reason to make a peep.  Who cares what I put into my own body.  It is my body.  Not anyone one else's body and certainly not yours, so shut up.  

Anyway, my take away was that I got mad at myself for letting my co-workers opinions get to me.  Why should I care what they think of me?  I guess my life long programming gets to me from time to time but in the end I realized that I was angry because I felt I was being forced to lay down my cheeseburger for someone else's belief of what healthy was.  I am glad I stoop up for myself and ate every darn bite.  I even looked right at that person and ate with my mouth open to be gross.  

The point is that cheeseburger, gun, flag or freedom.   We all need to stand up for what is important to us and let no one idiot shame us into doing anything that we would in turn be ashamed of.  If I would have not eaten my cheeseburger, I would have been ashamed with myself bending to another's point of view that is not my own.  I live here in America and I am allowed to have my own opinion.  So, even though cheeseburgers are very bad for me, I will keep eating them because I can.  No one will ever tell me to not eat them again without getting a lecture about personal freedom and being an American or possibly a cheeseburger in the face.  I have not decided what would be better.