I keep thinking about our modern world. What is it about smart phones and the Internet that seemingly makes us leave the face to face world of people and invest so much time with a hand held device?
I had the pleasure of having young people at my home for a week. Now, there is no mistake I love my phone and I love the Internet. Facebook is my friend and all the modern world is an amazing place. Yet, I noticed something interesting. My daughter and her friend, I call her my new daughter, spent most of their time face forward looking at their phones instead of interacting with me and my Husband. Even while engaged in conversations with me and my husband they were looking at their phones.
This got me to thinking about modern relationships and communication. I started to look around a little bit more. I noticed that most people, including myself had this other relationship going on with our phones. I noticed it in my break room at work among other places. Grown adults from ages 25-60 all looking at smart phones instead of at each other.
What is it about these devices that are so much more interesting and more entertaining than each other? I remember being able to sit down in the break room and have a conversation with my peers or co-workers. When did that all do away? When did a phone or a hand held device take the place of a person or a face to face interaction?
I sit here blogging and most of the people who read my blog read this on your phones or devices and I wonder about what we have gained and what we have lost.
Perhaps we are in a flux of change? Perhaps we are learning something new in the way we communicate with each other. I would like to think that Facebook was a gift that allowed me to reach out and touch those I thought I had lost. Becoming a small time blogger has given me the opportunity to speak to anyone who will read my words on a scale I could have never imagined. The Internet has allowed me to see and understand so many more points of view and now I feel like I can be more open minded and I hope a more loving person.
Yes, I think for right now this phone gazing and seemingly odd way of communicating seems kinda selfish but I think it is a step into something bigger then what we have ever known before. Maybe we are stepping into a future that only we have dreamed about in movies and books about the way we communicate with each other.
I can only hope this time in our humanity is a step into a future of amazing possibilities. That this "smart phone" is just the beginning. Maybe one day we will just think it and it will be so. I can think a text to you and you will receive my text. I kinda like that. I will take a picture with my eye and send it to a mind/brain Internet that will be so beautiful and perfect that no camera would ever be able to capture it the same.
We are really just babies you know in the timeline of man. Just toddlers really taking our first steps. I tend to be overly thoughtful in my view of things and way to pragmatic. I think for this I will just let it go. It is what it is.
When I am old, I think I will re-read this blog and find out, if I was correct or at least partially right.
What do you think? Do you think we are simply so engrossed with ourselves and our phones that we are selfish and so self absorbed that we cannot communicate properly anymore? Or, do you think we are simply learning to communicate on a higher level and this is a baby step into something amazing?
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Entitlement: What does it mean?
My daughter is in town this week. She came home to help us out. We needed a doggy babysitter. So, her and her friend stopped by for a few days while we were on a mini vacation.
We really love having her here. I had never expected her to go away to college and never come home. Yet, my daughter decided that she wanted to be an independent person and do life on her own terms. I think I am the only person I know that had a child move out at 18 years old and stay out. She is one amazing person.
Anyway, I don't get so see her very often and it really is fun to spend time with her. We have been doing a lot of sitting around the table exchanging ideas and debating politics, religion and other things. Better yet, her friend fits right in.
Nothing better than exchanging ideas with people who have a thought or two in their brains and can back up those thoughts with words and facts. I love folks like this. Good to have her home.
Anyway, we started to talk about what entitlement meant. The conversation started with why our public schools sucked so bad. Why the taxes we paid were not sufficient enough for the demand that the public schools required of them. My daughter and her friend had no idea what the reasons were other than what the TV or the Media told them.
We talked about how that each group of immigrants that came to America came here with this willingness to work and assimilate into the American culture. Each group gave as much as they took and gave back to our Country in so many colorful and meaningful ways. Now, the immigration trend has been people more willing to receive hand-outs then to work. Our economy could not then and cannot now sustain this shift of more take then give. That eventually the bough would break and it all would come tumbling down.
My daughter asked about her own ancestors and I told her that they all came here with nothing and earned their way like everyone else until the recent immigrants. My Husband told the same story of his own people. We told my daughter and her friend that our people never felt this sense of entitlement that immigrants tend to have; they expect everyone to give them everything simply because they can creep over the boarder under the cover of darkness.
I told a story that my mother told of her own father. How he never thought he would own his own home. How he thought that only those who could pay cash for a home or who had money. His son, my uncle, had to explain to him that he had a job and explain the concept of a mortgage. My grandfather finally owned a home and achieved the American Dream. He did not believe that anyone should give him a home or support him. He made it on his own without the benefit of Welfare or Medical.
My Husband asked me later, if the "Girls" understood what we said to them. I said heck no. That they still lived in the ideal world bubble and had never had over 50% of their paychecks taken from them...yet. That they were still young and still believed in the goodness of men. They still believed that people would never just come here to take and not give back. Strip a country bare and laugh all the way to the bank while we let them.
I told him of my fathers friends and how they would rant on and on at our dining room table and how I thought they were a bunch of "dicks" at the time. How years later I understood what they were talking about and understood their wisdom. I told him his words were not wasted just not understood today.
I feel bad for our youth. They are inheriting a world of people who are full of this sense of bloated entitlement. This world of people who believe that they are to be served and catered to without ever having served another in their whole lives.
I suppose I could go on an on about this. I have just touched the very top of the subject and so much can be said. There are so many touchy feelings when this subject comes up. Yet after our conversation this evening, I asked what I should blog about. It was unanimous...I was to talk about entitlement or at least try.
What do you think about entitlement? Do you think our world is full of people who have not worked for what they have? Do you think we should just give what we have worked for to others who have not worked at all?
I think we should all work to some capacity. We should all do something for as long as we can and be as productive as possible. We should all earn our way in this world and be happy doing what we do, if we are lucky. I honestly do not think that what I earn should be given to anyone else unless I freely give it away. I do not think I should be given anything unless I earn it or it was given to me as a gift.
I guess I am tired of seeing more and more of what I earn going to people who do nothing for my hard work. For example, here in California, we are in a drought. We have spent so much money on our welfare system that we cannot spend any money on infrastructure. Our water mains are busting all over the place. We as a State are taxed insanely and now we are going to be fined, if we use to much water.
I pay taxes so that the infrastructure is intact and working. I pay for water to be here even in a drought. I use water wisely. Yet, I have to pay for all those who do not pay taxes or for anything else and I will be fined for using to much water and for the increase in taxes to fix the busted water mains. How is this fair or right? Why do the responsible hard working people keep paying and paying and get less and less and those who pay nothing get more and more? Why?
I pose the question: how did those who do nothing and break the law end up being so entitled and those who work hardest be the servants of the entitled?
We really love having her here. I had never expected her to go away to college and never come home. Yet, my daughter decided that she wanted to be an independent person and do life on her own terms. I think I am the only person I know that had a child move out at 18 years old and stay out. She is one amazing person.
Anyway, I don't get so see her very often and it really is fun to spend time with her. We have been doing a lot of sitting around the table exchanging ideas and debating politics, religion and other things. Better yet, her friend fits right in.
Nothing better than exchanging ideas with people who have a thought or two in their brains and can back up those thoughts with words and facts. I love folks like this. Good to have her home.
Anyway, we started to talk about what entitlement meant. The conversation started with why our public schools sucked so bad. Why the taxes we paid were not sufficient enough for the demand that the public schools required of them. My daughter and her friend had no idea what the reasons were other than what the TV or the Media told them.
We talked about how that each group of immigrants that came to America came here with this willingness to work and assimilate into the American culture. Each group gave as much as they took and gave back to our Country in so many colorful and meaningful ways. Now, the immigration trend has been people more willing to receive hand-outs then to work. Our economy could not then and cannot now sustain this shift of more take then give. That eventually the bough would break and it all would come tumbling down.
My daughter asked about her own ancestors and I told her that they all came here with nothing and earned their way like everyone else until the recent immigrants. My Husband told the same story of his own people. We told my daughter and her friend that our people never felt this sense of entitlement that immigrants tend to have; they expect everyone to give them everything simply because they can creep over the boarder under the cover of darkness.
I told a story that my mother told of her own father. How he never thought he would own his own home. How he thought that only those who could pay cash for a home or who had money. His son, my uncle, had to explain to him that he had a job and explain the concept of a mortgage. My grandfather finally owned a home and achieved the American Dream. He did not believe that anyone should give him a home or support him. He made it on his own without the benefit of Welfare or Medical.
My Husband asked me later, if the "Girls" understood what we said to them. I said heck no. That they still lived in the ideal world bubble and had never had over 50% of their paychecks taken from them...yet. That they were still young and still believed in the goodness of men. They still believed that people would never just come here to take and not give back. Strip a country bare and laugh all the way to the bank while we let them.
I told him of my fathers friends and how they would rant on and on at our dining room table and how I thought they were a bunch of "dicks" at the time. How years later I understood what they were talking about and understood their wisdom. I told him his words were not wasted just not understood today.
I feel bad for our youth. They are inheriting a world of people who are full of this sense of bloated entitlement. This world of people who believe that they are to be served and catered to without ever having served another in their whole lives.
I suppose I could go on an on about this. I have just touched the very top of the subject and so much can be said. There are so many touchy feelings when this subject comes up. Yet after our conversation this evening, I asked what I should blog about. It was unanimous...I was to talk about entitlement or at least try.
What do you think about entitlement? Do you think our world is full of people who have not worked for what they have? Do you think we should just give what we have worked for to others who have not worked at all?
I think we should all work to some capacity. We should all do something for as long as we can and be as productive as possible. We should all earn our way in this world and be happy doing what we do, if we are lucky. I honestly do not think that what I earn should be given to anyone else unless I freely give it away. I do not think I should be given anything unless I earn it or it was given to me as a gift.
I guess I am tired of seeing more and more of what I earn going to people who do nothing for my hard work. For example, here in California, we are in a drought. We have spent so much money on our welfare system that we cannot spend any money on infrastructure. Our water mains are busting all over the place. We as a State are taxed insanely and now we are going to be fined, if we use to much water.
I pay taxes so that the infrastructure is intact and working. I pay for water to be here even in a drought. I use water wisely. Yet, I have to pay for all those who do not pay taxes or for anything else and I will be fined for using to much water and for the increase in taxes to fix the busted water mains. How is this fair or right? Why do the responsible hard working people keep paying and paying and get less and less and those who pay nothing get more and more? Why?
I pose the question: how did those who do nothing and break the law end up being so entitled and those who work hardest be the servants of the entitled?
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Has Vegas gone PG?
So, we went to Vegas for a couple of days. As always we had fun. For us, Vegas is a time relax. We get a little suite and spend time in our room. I know lots of folks don't spend time in their rooms but we do.
I have heard people say who stays in their rooms in Vegas, we do. We wake up late. Get up for a few minutes and then go back to bed. We sit and just talk to each other and get to know each other all over again. Sometimes we get all crazy and order room service.
My favorite thing is the pool. I can spend days there. We don't have a pool at home. We have been in negotiations over a pool for our home for a very long time. I think I have lost the fight on the pool now that California is in perma drought. My Husband has said that, when we retire, I can have a pool. I might have to get that in writing and notarized he tends to change his mind about things like that. Anyway, if the sun is out, I will spend as long as my Husband is willing to let me stay baking in the sun. As long as I can have a good book, a yummy juice drink and no one talking to me I am happy. He tends to do other things in the casino. Men will be men.
Anyway, I had an interesting epiphany this Vegas trip. We were sitting in the lounge at Caesars. You know the one right in front of the main gambling area and I noticed that there were a lot of people with small children walking past us and many of them with babies in strollers.
I guess I never saw it before. Maybe I wasn't paying attention but there it was. Babies everywhere. I thought ...what the heck? Who brings children let alone a baby to Vegas? I personally have come to Vegas to get away from a small child a few times but never to bring one there.
So, in my little tiny brain, I kept thinking about the process a parent must go through to justify in bringing a child to Vegas.
Scenario one, they were passing through and needed a place to stay. OK, that is justifiable but why not at a non gambling establishment. Maybe a residence Inn, eat at a Applebee's someplace that does not place your child in an environment with smoke, gambling or half naked women. Let them decide, if they place themselves in a Vegas like situation when they are adults and can reason such a choice out.
Scenario two, they have to go to Vegas for a wedding and the children need to be there for the ceremony. Once again, stay someplace else. Bring the kids for the ceremony then leave immediately. I just don't see how a child belongs in a casino. Ever.
Scenario three, parents are totally selfish people and bring the kids thinking they will each take turns watching the kids. They fight openly in the casino about who is going to take the kids so the other parent can have fun. Each parent is equally drunk and hating the other parent for "ruining" their fun. I would say this is not a good example of good parenting for their children or the people watching them.
What I noticed was these parents were drinking adult beverages as they walked a circle around the gaming areas with their strollers full of infants or holding hands with their toddlers. Funny thing, they seemed to think that, if they placed a blanket over the baby in the baby carriage, it was like placing a cone of silence over the infant. That this blanket of protection kept all the noise, evil and smoke away from their precious infant. Sure it was.
I also noticed the toddlers were barley walking as they held their parents hands. These toddlers were up and with their parents well past midnight. Their eyes were half mast, feet dragging as their moms wore cha cha heels and their dads sipped tall ones. I kept thinking how could this possibly be fun for anyone? A cranky, sleepy toddler and a drunk selfish parent? Not a good combo, not now, not ever.
So, I had always thought of Vegas as an adults only place. Especially the casinos and half naked areas and the areas that promote them. A Disney for the over 21 crowd. Has Vegas gone PG?
So, tell me, have you ever taken your kids to an adult venue such as Vegas and expected to have adult fun? I know that I never have. My Daughter had a bedtime until she graduated high school. I never took her to an R rated movie or allowed her to go to one until she could take herself. Vegas is a place I never even thought of taking my child or even stopping by with her. Tell me, am I missing something?
What is it that would prompt you to bring your child to Vegas or to an adult situation like an R rated movie at midnight on a Saturday night? Am I old fashioned? If so, educate me, I need to know.
I have heard people say who stays in their rooms in Vegas, we do. We wake up late. Get up for a few minutes and then go back to bed. We sit and just talk to each other and get to know each other all over again. Sometimes we get all crazy and order room service.
My favorite thing is the pool. I can spend days there. We don't have a pool at home. We have been in negotiations over a pool for our home for a very long time. I think I have lost the fight on the pool now that California is in perma drought. My Husband has said that, when we retire, I can have a pool. I might have to get that in writing and notarized he tends to change his mind about things like that. Anyway, if the sun is out, I will spend as long as my Husband is willing to let me stay baking in the sun. As long as I can have a good book, a yummy juice drink and no one talking to me I am happy. He tends to do other things in the casino. Men will be men.
Anyway, I had an interesting epiphany this Vegas trip. We were sitting in the lounge at Caesars. You know the one right in front of the main gambling area and I noticed that there were a lot of people with small children walking past us and many of them with babies in strollers.
I guess I never saw it before. Maybe I wasn't paying attention but there it was. Babies everywhere. I thought ...what the heck? Who brings children let alone a baby to Vegas? I personally have come to Vegas to get away from a small child a few times but never to bring one there.
So, in my little tiny brain, I kept thinking about the process a parent must go through to justify in bringing a child to Vegas.
Scenario one, they were passing through and needed a place to stay. OK, that is justifiable but why not at a non gambling establishment. Maybe a residence Inn, eat at a Applebee's someplace that does not place your child in an environment with smoke, gambling or half naked women. Let them decide, if they place themselves in a Vegas like situation when they are adults and can reason such a choice out.
Scenario two, they have to go to Vegas for a wedding and the children need to be there for the ceremony. Once again, stay someplace else. Bring the kids for the ceremony then leave immediately. I just don't see how a child belongs in a casino. Ever.
Scenario three, parents are totally selfish people and bring the kids thinking they will each take turns watching the kids. They fight openly in the casino about who is going to take the kids so the other parent can have fun. Each parent is equally drunk and hating the other parent for "ruining" their fun. I would say this is not a good example of good parenting for their children or the people watching them.
What I noticed was these parents were drinking adult beverages as they walked a circle around the gaming areas with their strollers full of infants or holding hands with their toddlers. Funny thing, they seemed to think that, if they placed a blanket over the baby in the baby carriage, it was like placing a cone of silence over the infant. That this blanket of protection kept all the noise, evil and smoke away from their precious infant. Sure it was.
I also noticed the toddlers were barley walking as they held their parents hands. These toddlers were up and with their parents well past midnight. Their eyes were half mast, feet dragging as their moms wore cha cha heels and their dads sipped tall ones. I kept thinking how could this possibly be fun for anyone? A cranky, sleepy toddler and a drunk selfish parent? Not a good combo, not now, not ever.
So, I had always thought of Vegas as an adults only place. Especially the casinos and half naked areas and the areas that promote them. A Disney for the over 21 crowd. Has Vegas gone PG?
So, tell me, have you ever taken your kids to an adult venue such as Vegas and expected to have adult fun? I know that I never have. My Daughter had a bedtime until she graduated high school. I never took her to an R rated movie or allowed her to go to one until she could take herself. Vegas is a place I never even thought of taking my child or even stopping by with her. Tell me, am I missing something?
What is it that would prompt you to bring your child to Vegas or to an adult situation like an R rated movie at midnight on a Saturday night? Am I old fashioned? If so, educate me, I need to know.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
My Friend is going to Heaven
I have a friend who is going to die. I suppose you would say that she is more of an acquaintance than a friend. I consider her my friend.
I met her when my Daughter was seven. I had moved from South Orange County to Riverside. I had placed my Daughter in a private school and she was one of the first people I met.
There were a bunch of first children in this class most of them girls. I was told by the educators that it was something not seen very often. We became a very tight group.
I was one of two single Mom's and only two who had one child. In this school it was basically unheard of.
This friend I made was the mother of three at the time, all girls. She was so very nice to me. She was a stay at home mom and just so very pleasant. She made you feel as, if I was not weird for having no Husband and that I worked, but that I was just like everyone else. She made me feel normal.
One of the first things I noticed about her was that she was not like all the other Mom's. She was round and pleasantly plump. Not the typical barbie Mom that I had seen walking around. Yet, everyone loved and adored her.
She also carried everything in her bra. She had a phone, Kleenex, money and some candy in there. I was fascinated by this. In fact, to this day, I carry many things in my "Special Pockets". One of her kids would come up to her and need money or something and bam, there it was, five bucks. Amazing, I always have something my Double D's. I think of her every time and smile. Women with smaller breasts cannot pull this off, definitely for the larger buxom gal.
Sad thing, my friend, ended up having breast cancer and had to have her breasts removed. I had hoped that was the end of it, but no it wasn't. Her body developed cancer all over. She fought so hard and for so long. She sought all treatments and climbed every mountain to win this battle. She has lost her battle and I am told that her body will end soon.
I lost contact with my friend after my Daughter graduated from eighth grade and we moved. I was thankful for Facebook and in kept touch with her there. I knew that she had cancer. I was so happy, when she went to Paris and started to enjoy her time with her Husband instead of treatment after treatment. I was overjoyed, when she started to talk about her cancer with all of us so we could encourage her and be on her team. Cheer her on and pray for her after every post. I prayed for and her family every day. I prayed for Gods will and the courage to accept his will with fortitude.
My other friend asked me what we should do. I said there is nothing to do. Not yet anyway, not now. I told my other friend that this time is for our mutual friend and her immediate family. They need to say goodbye to their beloved Mother and this body she lives in right now. That God always calls home the most good and beloved early. He has special plans for them.
My other friend and I both have Mothers that have passed on. We both lost our Mothers relatively young in our adult lives comparatively to most others. I know that my heart aches for my Mother to this day and I miss her so much. How I wish I could talk to her and hear her voice. Smell her perfume and touch her hand. I know my friend grieves for her mother the same. I know that our Mutual friends children will grieve the loss of their Mother desperately.
I can only believe that our friend will go to be with our Lord and perhaps her work in Heaven will be to ease those souls who are confused or lost like I was and make them feel right at home and comfortable. I hope so. She was born to be an Angel. She was my Angel.
What can we do on earth right now? I really don't know. Trust in God and his process of life and death I suppose. I have been through so many passings of folks. Those of my own people and those of people I did not know. It is truly an honor to be there when a soul passes over. Not something I like to do because it is very sad but it is something that reminds you of how complete of a real circle life really is.
My Mother's Mother passed of Breast Cancer when my Mom was 14 years old and she was left to raise her 7 year old sister and take care of a household of men. She dropped out of school and had to get a job. Not easy to be sure but she did it all. I don't think I could have done that without a major temper tantrum and a poor me fest everyday for years. I think my Mom is in heaven right now doing what she loved, taking care of babies.
What I would say to my friends daughters, I would tell them to be patient with themselves and to just take your time. That your never going to get over this but eventually the days and nights will seem a little brighter and things won't seem so horrible. Remember that your Mom will want you to be happy. She fought so hard because she did not want you to be sad that she was gone. The best thing you could do is to be happy and be the best you can be. Also, take care of that little brother of yours just like she would have.
I have a picture of me and my Mom on the inside of my kitchen cupboard, I kiss my fingertips and touch them to my Moms face everyday. Just to remember her. Keep your Mom in your heart. I always try to be like her. If I can be just 1% like my Mom, then I know I am a good person. I hope you try and be like your Mom.
My friend is fading from this world and my heart hurts that her beautiful smile is no longer going to be here, yet I know someday I will see her smiling again at me, when I go to heaven. At least I hope so.
I met her when my Daughter was seven. I had moved from South Orange County to Riverside. I had placed my Daughter in a private school and she was one of the first people I met.
There were a bunch of first children in this class most of them girls. I was told by the educators that it was something not seen very often. We became a very tight group.
I was one of two single Mom's and only two who had one child. In this school it was basically unheard of.
This friend I made was the mother of three at the time, all girls. She was so very nice to me. She was a stay at home mom and just so very pleasant. She made you feel as, if I was not weird for having no Husband and that I worked, but that I was just like everyone else. She made me feel normal.
One of the first things I noticed about her was that she was not like all the other Mom's. She was round and pleasantly plump. Not the typical barbie Mom that I had seen walking around. Yet, everyone loved and adored her.
She also carried everything in her bra. She had a phone, Kleenex, money and some candy in there. I was fascinated by this. In fact, to this day, I carry many things in my "Special Pockets". One of her kids would come up to her and need money or something and bam, there it was, five bucks. Amazing, I always have something my Double D's. I think of her every time and smile. Women with smaller breasts cannot pull this off, definitely for the larger buxom gal.
Sad thing, my friend, ended up having breast cancer and had to have her breasts removed. I had hoped that was the end of it, but no it wasn't. Her body developed cancer all over. She fought so hard and for so long. She sought all treatments and climbed every mountain to win this battle. She has lost her battle and I am told that her body will end soon.
I lost contact with my friend after my Daughter graduated from eighth grade and we moved. I was thankful for Facebook and in kept touch with her there. I knew that she had cancer. I was so happy, when she went to Paris and started to enjoy her time with her Husband instead of treatment after treatment. I was overjoyed, when she started to talk about her cancer with all of us so we could encourage her and be on her team. Cheer her on and pray for her after every post. I prayed for and her family every day. I prayed for Gods will and the courage to accept his will with fortitude.
My other friend asked me what we should do. I said there is nothing to do. Not yet anyway, not now. I told my other friend that this time is for our mutual friend and her immediate family. They need to say goodbye to their beloved Mother and this body she lives in right now. That God always calls home the most good and beloved early. He has special plans for them.
My other friend and I both have Mothers that have passed on. We both lost our Mothers relatively young in our adult lives comparatively to most others. I know that my heart aches for my Mother to this day and I miss her so much. How I wish I could talk to her and hear her voice. Smell her perfume and touch her hand. I know my friend grieves for her mother the same. I know that our Mutual friends children will grieve the loss of their Mother desperately.
I can only believe that our friend will go to be with our Lord and perhaps her work in Heaven will be to ease those souls who are confused or lost like I was and make them feel right at home and comfortable. I hope so. She was born to be an Angel. She was my Angel.
What can we do on earth right now? I really don't know. Trust in God and his process of life and death I suppose. I have been through so many passings of folks. Those of my own people and those of people I did not know. It is truly an honor to be there when a soul passes over. Not something I like to do because it is very sad but it is something that reminds you of how complete of a real circle life really is.
My Mother's Mother passed of Breast Cancer when my Mom was 14 years old and she was left to raise her 7 year old sister and take care of a household of men. She dropped out of school and had to get a job. Not easy to be sure but she did it all. I don't think I could have done that without a major temper tantrum and a poor me fest everyday for years. I think my Mom is in heaven right now doing what she loved, taking care of babies.
What I would say to my friends daughters, I would tell them to be patient with themselves and to just take your time. That your never going to get over this but eventually the days and nights will seem a little brighter and things won't seem so horrible. Remember that your Mom will want you to be happy. She fought so hard because she did not want you to be sad that she was gone. The best thing you could do is to be happy and be the best you can be. Also, take care of that little brother of yours just like she would have.
I have a picture of me and my Mom on the inside of my kitchen cupboard, I kiss my fingertips and touch them to my Moms face everyday. Just to remember her. Keep your Mom in your heart. I always try to be like her. If I can be just 1% like my Mom, then I know I am a good person. I hope you try and be like your Mom.
My friend is fading from this world and my heart hurts that her beautiful smile is no longer going to be here, yet I know someday I will see her smiling again at me, when I go to heaven. At least I hope so.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Let's Talk about the Penis
I want to talk about something a little controversial. I want to talk about the penis. I know right? So, naughty and not like me. Not.
Anyway, I mentioned in my last blog something I tell young women, if they ask me. I tell them that there is no penis worth it. I want to explain that statement a little bit. What I mean is this. That there is no man worth the heartache and trouble that he is capable of giving you.
I have been fooled by one man one time. I will never let that happen again. I was forever changed by letting him get to me. No, it wasn't from my starter marriage. I was forever changed from a boy in high school. This boy was a complete asshole. He was a user of women and only wanted what he could get and would move on once he got what he got.
This boy broke my heart. I let him brake my heart. Now, it was only high school and in my mind these relationships really don't count. Yet, I learned something very valuable from him. I learned volumes from this boy and I am actually thankful for my very short and meaningless relationship with him. Men are like Kleenex, use one then toss it away once your done with it. Look for a man who is a handkerchief not a Kleenex. Someone who will endure the test of time. A disposable man is not worth your time.
I learned that, if a boy can do that to a girl, a woman can do that to a man. So, I began to study the other sex like a science project. I studied them as, if I was going to war. I no longer looked for someone I actually liked or that I was attracted to. I looked for someone that was a good match and would be a good partner. What they had in between their legs was bonus not a deal breaker.
This took me quite some time to figure out. I became very picky and reinvented myself so I could find the best possible partner. I thought I found a good one with my starter marriage guy. He was the perfect sperm donor for my Daughter but not a good husband for me. He is a good guy to be sure but not a good guy for me. So, for me he was a Kleenex guy. I could go on and on and tell you why he was wrong for me but I actually respect him for the most perfect sperm that helped make my Daughter, so I won't go there.
Back to the Penis. Most or all men have one. I do realize they all come in different sizes, widths, lengths and so forth but that is really not important. OK, it is important but not crucial. My Husbands Grandmother told him that all vagina's are the same in the dark. I say that is the same for the penis. Mostly.
I would rather not even try out the penis on a potential mate until the driver of said penis has proven to me 100% that they have placed a worthy ring on my finger (to me this means a large precious stone of enormous value), He is an excellent financial provider, smarter than me, nerdy in all things, competitive and driven to succeed, kind to me and my daughter, moral, steadfast, wealthy, good with financial matters, a good saver and steward, practical, able to fix things, has common sense and mechanically inclined.
A long list and almost impossible for anyone to have all these qualities. However, My current Husband does not meet all these qualities. He tries. He does meet about 90% of them and others that I have not listed.
My current Husband had a long list of his own. I have no idea how I even qualified. Yet, here I am married to him. We both learned many hard lessons along the way and decided that nothing but the absolute best possible person would do.
The penis....is so not worth what most women put into it or value its worth. I have seen women cry and cry about a man and his thing. They love him...they love making love to him. He is such a good lover. Blah...blah...blah... I say grow up. GET OVER IT.
Sorry, friend, He does not love you. He does not love you one little bit. He is just using you and will continue to use you until you won't let him anymore.
I had friends throughout out my life that would do anything to get back together with a man once he dumps her for someone younger or prettier. They drive by the house or apartment to see, if he is home. Knock on the bedroom window. Climb in the window. Crazy stuff like that. Get silly drunk and have sex with that man any place any time just to keep him or get him back. I say...so not worth it. How could any penis be worth that sort of debasement? I have no idea. Yet, I have seen women do this over and over and for what? Nothing...they never get the guy back. They get a STD or pregnant, maybe. For sure they get their hearts broken. Every single time.
This is why I tell young women and grown women that there is no penis worth it because there isn't. I tell the older ones to buy one, if they are that desperate. Why not? At least they aren't out there licking the heels of some dickless wonder who does not deserve them or even want them.
I have heard of women leaving their good husbands for men because of some good sex. Stupid does not even describe that. I have seen women put their children in foster care for a second husband because of the penis. Again, so wrong. Light me on fire and let me scream, if I ever did that. There is no man or his tallywacker worth not being with your family for. I have seen women not speak to their families because of some stupid guy and his thingy. They chose him and his penis over their brothers and sisters. What? I think not. If I choose to ignore my people, I do it on my own terms. Not because of some idiot man.
Technically, we are all supposed to refrain from sexual congress or any sort of touching ourselves until marriage. Good luck with that. I still say the same rules apply. If you have what it takes to be strong and not enter into any compromising situations until marriage, than choose very carefully because you only have the one shot. Also, thumbs up. God really likes that.
I think it is a matter of loving yourself just enough to not be second place to any person, especially a man. I am not saying that you should not be traditional in your marriage or old fashioned. Heck, I am that women who is obedient and subservient to her Husband. Just the way I role. I am saying that you need to love yourself and never let anyone make you do stupid things. How can a marriage or a union be successful, if you and your partner do not love yourself as you love the other?
Remember these words. Say them to yourself over and over before you make a mistake and end up with someone you shouldn't just because you haven't thought it through. Say to your self. There is no penis worth it. There is no Penis worth it. Just like Dorthy did with her red shoes. You just don't have anything to click your heels with.
There is no penis worth your self esteem or your self worth. There is no penis worth your marriage or your children. There is no penis worth giving up your family for.
Be strong and full of love for yourself and raise Daughters and Sons who are the same because we as women are all we have to protect ourselves along with the good men we choose to be with.
Anyway, I mentioned in my last blog something I tell young women, if they ask me. I tell them that there is no penis worth it. I want to explain that statement a little bit. What I mean is this. That there is no man worth the heartache and trouble that he is capable of giving you.
I have been fooled by one man one time. I will never let that happen again. I was forever changed by letting him get to me. No, it wasn't from my starter marriage. I was forever changed from a boy in high school. This boy was a complete asshole. He was a user of women and only wanted what he could get and would move on once he got what he got.
This boy broke my heart. I let him brake my heart. Now, it was only high school and in my mind these relationships really don't count. Yet, I learned something very valuable from him. I learned volumes from this boy and I am actually thankful for my very short and meaningless relationship with him. Men are like Kleenex, use one then toss it away once your done with it. Look for a man who is a handkerchief not a Kleenex. Someone who will endure the test of time. A disposable man is not worth your time.
I learned that, if a boy can do that to a girl, a woman can do that to a man. So, I began to study the other sex like a science project. I studied them as, if I was going to war. I no longer looked for someone I actually liked or that I was attracted to. I looked for someone that was a good match and would be a good partner. What they had in between their legs was bonus not a deal breaker.
This took me quite some time to figure out. I became very picky and reinvented myself so I could find the best possible partner. I thought I found a good one with my starter marriage guy. He was the perfect sperm donor for my Daughter but not a good husband for me. He is a good guy to be sure but not a good guy for me. So, for me he was a Kleenex guy. I could go on and on and tell you why he was wrong for me but I actually respect him for the most perfect sperm that helped make my Daughter, so I won't go there.
Back to the Penis. Most or all men have one. I do realize they all come in different sizes, widths, lengths and so forth but that is really not important. OK, it is important but not crucial. My Husbands Grandmother told him that all vagina's are the same in the dark. I say that is the same for the penis. Mostly.
I would rather not even try out the penis on a potential mate until the driver of said penis has proven to me 100% that they have placed a worthy ring on my finger (to me this means a large precious stone of enormous value), He is an excellent financial provider, smarter than me, nerdy in all things, competitive and driven to succeed, kind to me and my daughter, moral, steadfast, wealthy, good with financial matters, a good saver and steward, practical, able to fix things, has common sense and mechanically inclined.
A long list and almost impossible for anyone to have all these qualities. However, My current Husband does not meet all these qualities. He tries. He does meet about 90% of them and others that I have not listed.
My current Husband had a long list of his own. I have no idea how I even qualified. Yet, here I am married to him. We both learned many hard lessons along the way and decided that nothing but the absolute best possible person would do.
The penis....is so not worth what most women put into it or value its worth. I have seen women cry and cry about a man and his thing. They love him...they love making love to him. He is such a good lover. Blah...blah...blah... I say grow up. GET OVER IT.
Sorry, friend, He does not love you. He does not love you one little bit. He is just using you and will continue to use you until you won't let him anymore.
I had friends throughout out my life that would do anything to get back together with a man once he dumps her for someone younger or prettier. They drive by the house or apartment to see, if he is home. Knock on the bedroom window. Climb in the window. Crazy stuff like that. Get silly drunk and have sex with that man any place any time just to keep him or get him back. I say...so not worth it. How could any penis be worth that sort of debasement? I have no idea. Yet, I have seen women do this over and over and for what? Nothing...they never get the guy back. They get a STD or pregnant, maybe. For sure they get their hearts broken. Every single time.
This is why I tell young women and grown women that there is no penis worth it because there isn't. I tell the older ones to buy one, if they are that desperate. Why not? At least they aren't out there licking the heels of some dickless wonder who does not deserve them or even want them.
I have heard of women leaving their good husbands for men because of some good sex. Stupid does not even describe that. I have seen women put their children in foster care for a second husband because of the penis. Again, so wrong. Light me on fire and let me scream, if I ever did that. There is no man or his tallywacker worth not being with your family for. I have seen women not speak to their families because of some stupid guy and his thingy. They chose him and his penis over their brothers and sisters. What? I think not. If I choose to ignore my people, I do it on my own terms. Not because of some idiot man.
Technically, we are all supposed to refrain from sexual congress or any sort of touching ourselves until marriage. Good luck with that. I still say the same rules apply. If you have what it takes to be strong and not enter into any compromising situations until marriage, than choose very carefully because you only have the one shot. Also, thumbs up. God really likes that.
I think it is a matter of loving yourself just enough to not be second place to any person, especially a man. I am not saying that you should not be traditional in your marriage or old fashioned. Heck, I am that women who is obedient and subservient to her Husband. Just the way I role. I am saying that you need to love yourself and never let anyone make you do stupid things. How can a marriage or a union be successful, if you and your partner do not love yourself as you love the other?
Remember these words. Say them to yourself over and over before you make a mistake and end up with someone you shouldn't just because you haven't thought it through. Say to your self. There is no penis worth it. There is no Penis worth it. Just like Dorthy did with her red shoes. You just don't have anything to click your heels with.
There is no penis worth your self esteem or your self worth. There is no penis worth your marriage or your children. There is no penis worth giving up your family for.
Be strong and full of love for yourself and raise Daughters and Sons who are the same because we as women are all we have to protect ourselves along with the good men we choose to be with.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Real Friends or not
What is it that makes other women choose men over other women? Have you ever wondered that? I have...a lot. I do it all the time.
I rarely let myself get to know many people. I have a many acquaintances and very few close friends. Even my close friends I keep at an arms length. I wonder, if most other people are like that? I would think most are because I place myself in the range of normilsh or maybe not. I can't decide were I fall in the mix.
I know the reason I am not all into letting my barriers down. My reasons are self protection. As a young person, I trusted once to often a supposed friend and was truly hurt.
For example, in junior high, I had this friend who I thought was my BFF. Turns out she so sucked as a BFF. Years later, I asked her why she did what she did, she told me she liked the same boy I did. She was angry he liked me and not her. I was like...what the frickity frack? If she had only told me, I would have so not liked that boy. Girls before Guys, I always say. Anyway, she asked for my forgiveness. Of course, I forgave her, although she was never my friend again.
This is what she did to me. She decided that she would tell everyone that I had sex with this certain boy that liked me. So, not true a complete lie. Then she told them that I had sex with another boy behind his back, again not true. Then she arranged to have all the kids follow her and me to our local ice cream store and trap me in the store for a confrontation. This was to publicly humiliate me and call me a slut and whore. I was 13. It was beyond traumatizing. I was devastated and destroyed. This thing she did, still did not do anything to really destroy my reputation in the long run or my popularity, but my soul was changed forever. I never trusted a supposed friend again or at least it took me a very very long time.
I cried for years over this incident. I could have cared less about the boy. Boys come and go. Like I have told my daughter and countless young women that ask me, there is no penis worth it. I thought my friend had my back that I could trust her. She was in it for the boy. Not cool. As soon as I figured out a women is in it for the men, I simply dismiss her as a reliable person and refuse to deal with her in any way unless I have to.
As I grow older, I find that my real friend circle is very small. I trust very few women and call even fewer true friends. I audition anyone who wants to come on in. I would love to have more friends. It is just that eventually I find out they only want what my credit card will buy for them or whatever they can get. I only want someone who wants to spend some time with me and let me get to know them and the other way around. Just accept me for me and all my craziness and let me accept them.
You know, it is not like I do not want to give my friends money or gifts, I do, it is just they come to expect this as part of the friendship. Eventually, these people are no longer my friends. I find they give me nothing at all, not even time. I have had friends who don't even remember my birthday year after year. Not even a Happy Birthday even, if I remember theirs. I don't care about gifts or cards there is nothing I want or need. Just a simple thinking of you as you grow into a crone would be nice.
I guess what I really wonder is what is it that drives most friendships? There are some friends I have not seen in years and consider them solid and perfect. They would have my back in a minute. One of my friends I consider in this category asked this question. Would you hide the body for me? Yes, I would. As, you would hide the body for me. This is a friend. No matter what the time or distance. They have your back without asking anything in return, just your friendship.
I remember being a cheerleader. I loved being a cheerleader, it was so much fun. However, some of the cheerleaders were really mean. I was not mean. I just wanted to dance and cheer the team on. I never really bonded with my fellow cheerleaders, my agenda was different then most of theirs. I was there for the joy of being able to cheer. I think they were there to be sexy and on top of the pecking order. I never did get that. My intentions are always so different then most. Sometimes, I wish that I was like everyone else. Life would be so easy.
Sometimes, I wish that I could just be friends with whoever was in my social class and do what was expected and called for. I tried, I did. I just could not look into the vacant eyes of another woman in another committee or lunch and not make a real connection. I just could not do it. Unless, I lost all my composure and slapped someone for being a real bitch. Unless, I could do that, then nope, not doing it.
So, here is the deal, I am at a point were I am just going to be a friend to people I want to be friends with. I am going to say what I want to say and suffer the consequences. So be it.
I choose to have real friends and real relationships and I don't care what anyone says.
I rarely let myself get to know many people. I have a many acquaintances and very few close friends. Even my close friends I keep at an arms length. I wonder, if most other people are like that? I would think most are because I place myself in the range of normilsh or maybe not. I can't decide were I fall in the mix.
I know the reason I am not all into letting my barriers down. My reasons are self protection. As a young person, I trusted once to often a supposed friend and was truly hurt.
For example, in junior high, I had this friend who I thought was my BFF. Turns out she so sucked as a BFF. Years later, I asked her why she did what she did, she told me she liked the same boy I did. She was angry he liked me and not her. I was like...what the frickity frack? If she had only told me, I would have so not liked that boy. Girls before Guys, I always say. Anyway, she asked for my forgiveness. Of course, I forgave her, although she was never my friend again.
This is what she did to me. She decided that she would tell everyone that I had sex with this certain boy that liked me. So, not true a complete lie. Then she told them that I had sex with another boy behind his back, again not true. Then she arranged to have all the kids follow her and me to our local ice cream store and trap me in the store for a confrontation. This was to publicly humiliate me and call me a slut and whore. I was 13. It was beyond traumatizing. I was devastated and destroyed. This thing she did, still did not do anything to really destroy my reputation in the long run or my popularity, but my soul was changed forever. I never trusted a supposed friend again or at least it took me a very very long time.
I cried for years over this incident. I could have cared less about the boy. Boys come and go. Like I have told my daughter and countless young women that ask me, there is no penis worth it. I thought my friend had my back that I could trust her. She was in it for the boy. Not cool. As soon as I figured out a women is in it for the men, I simply dismiss her as a reliable person and refuse to deal with her in any way unless I have to.
As I grow older, I find that my real friend circle is very small. I trust very few women and call even fewer true friends. I audition anyone who wants to come on in. I would love to have more friends. It is just that eventually I find out they only want what my credit card will buy for them or whatever they can get. I only want someone who wants to spend some time with me and let me get to know them and the other way around. Just accept me for me and all my craziness and let me accept them.
You know, it is not like I do not want to give my friends money or gifts, I do, it is just they come to expect this as part of the friendship. Eventually, these people are no longer my friends. I find they give me nothing at all, not even time. I have had friends who don't even remember my birthday year after year. Not even a Happy Birthday even, if I remember theirs. I don't care about gifts or cards there is nothing I want or need. Just a simple thinking of you as you grow into a crone would be nice.
I guess what I really wonder is what is it that drives most friendships? There are some friends I have not seen in years and consider them solid and perfect. They would have my back in a minute. One of my friends I consider in this category asked this question. Would you hide the body for me? Yes, I would. As, you would hide the body for me. This is a friend. No matter what the time or distance. They have your back without asking anything in return, just your friendship.
I remember being a cheerleader. I loved being a cheerleader, it was so much fun. However, some of the cheerleaders were really mean. I was not mean. I just wanted to dance and cheer the team on. I never really bonded with my fellow cheerleaders, my agenda was different then most of theirs. I was there for the joy of being able to cheer. I think they were there to be sexy and on top of the pecking order. I never did get that. My intentions are always so different then most. Sometimes, I wish that I was like everyone else. Life would be so easy.
Sometimes, I wish that I could just be friends with whoever was in my social class and do what was expected and called for. I tried, I did. I just could not look into the vacant eyes of another woman in another committee or lunch and not make a real connection. I just could not do it. Unless, I lost all my composure and slapped someone for being a real bitch. Unless, I could do that, then nope, not doing it.
So, here is the deal, I am at a point were I am just going to be a friend to people I want to be friends with. I am going to say what I want to say and suffer the consequences. So be it.
I choose to have real friends and real relationships and I don't care what anyone says.
Friday, May 1, 2015
A calling to serve
What is it that makes a person want to become a Police Person or a Nurse? I have often wondered this. What is it that makes a person decide to give their life over to a life of service and excruciating hard work? I don't know. I ask myself that everyday as I don my scrubs.
Nurses or Police are people that are called to serve by a force that they cannot deny. Almost like a calling to serve God but not the Church. I suppose it is much bigger than that. You are called to serve to such a degree that you cannot fight this calling. You give with everything you have. You give your body, soul and sometimes your very life. Only another Nurse or Policeman can look into the eyes of another and understand the sacrifice that the other has given. There is nothing like it. A Doctor has glory and pay. A Nurse and Police has none of these. We are the true servants of blood sweat and tears.
Have you ever been to a delivery of a baby? The Delivery Nurse has been with the laboring Mother for hours. She has coached this Mother and done everything for this women to give her comfort and made sure that she and the fetus were cared for until the moment of delivery. The Doctor comes in at the very last second and catches the Baby. The Doctor gets all the praise and thanks. In reality he has done nothing but play catch. Most Doctors don't want to be called until the baby is almost on the floor. The Nurse does everything to ensure the Baby and Delivery are perfect for the Family and the Doctor. She does check in with the Doctor and gets orders but if that was not a law, the Doctor would probably be more than happy to not hear from the Nurse at all until the last possible moment. The Nurse gets to clean everything up. Trust me, it is a lot to clean up. No one ever thanks her. They just ask her for stuff and order her around.
Same with Policemen, they could do a million things right. Protect and serve a community and keep the peace for years. One thing goes wrong or even sorta goes wrong and now they are called out as being brutal and overly aggressive.
I keep thinking about our Law Enforcement. These Men and Women are out numbered beyond imagining and set out to keep the peace in neighborhoods that violence is as common as candy. They are not respected, hated even. Their jobs are impossible. In fact, it seems that the rules and regulations seem to favor the criminals and make the job of keeping the peace insanely hard. I think that the anger they display at times might be a release of some really pent up frustration.
Why would anyone keep doing these thankless jobs, if not a true calling to serve the wretched thankless public? Maybe they are not wretched or truly thankless but the job is.
I think that God chooses those whose hearts are the most giving and strong to be those that serve. I don't know. I do know that there is nothing I would rather not do. I have to be a Nurse. Just as I know that a Police Officer has to protect and serve.
We are cut from the same cloth, Nurses and Police. There is a certain selflessness to it. This desire to do for others before you do for yourself, sometimes before you even do for your own family. I can't explain it. I just know it is a drive I cannot explain.
Sometimes we are not perfect. I know that I pray every morning to God in his heaven that I will not do any harm and be a good Nurse every day. That I will be kind and caring. That I will make no mistakes. However, not once have I ever woke up in the morning and say to myself, Teri you need to hurt a Patient today and make a horrible mistake. Nope, not once, have I ever prayed or wished for that. I am also sure that a Police Officer has ever started his or her shift with the desire to shoot a suspect or hurt someone that did not deserve it. Sometimes, bad things happen. Mistakes happen. The last time I checked, I was a human being along with all the other Nurses and Police People in the world. People make mistakes. At least I do.
I guess a Police Person would not be given a gun without extensive training and time to develop the critical thinking skills to enable him or her to decide, when the appropriate time was to shoot that gun and at whom or what. The same is said for a Nurse. A Registered Nurse is a person with a degree. He or She usually has a Bachelors Degree although there is an RN who can have an Associates Degree. Both Degrees take about five years to obtain or longer. The waiting lists to get into Nursing School and grade point average are more stringent than some Medical Schools. Critical Thinking is a must not an option. Nursing School will possibly kill you. I have heard the same for the Police Academy.
I wonder why the Public expects such perfection from Nurses and Police People? Maybe it is because we hold ourselves up to such high standards as well? Again, I do not know. I do know that I have talked to hundreds of Nurses and Police People over the years and most of us feel the same way as though there was no choice but to follow this calling to serve others.
I hope that the Public will give our Police Officers a break. I believe they are doing the best they can with very limited resources and deeply angry neighborhoods. Perhaps the Police force needs some resurfacing and retooling? Perhaps? I personally am fond of them and respect them completely even, when I get a ticket every decade or so.
I say, lets embrace them and give them the benefit of the doubt and assist them to protect us better. We need them.
As a Nurse, I say that we remember that Nurses are people doing the best they can with little to no help wearing many hats working under regulations that can be crushing to the actual care of the Patient. Try and remember that Nurse is doing the best He or She can and will go without food, water and even going to the bathroom before letting your family member go without care. I know, I do it all the time.
This thing about callings, I am sure there are many called to do many things. I only know what I was called to do and I understand or I think I understand this calling of my fellow servant the Police Officer or at least I hope so.
Nurses or Police are people that are called to serve by a force that they cannot deny. Almost like a calling to serve God but not the Church. I suppose it is much bigger than that. You are called to serve to such a degree that you cannot fight this calling. You give with everything you have. You give your body, soul and sometimes your very life. Only another Nurse or Policeman can look into the eyes of another and understand the sacrifice that the other has given. There is nothing like it. A Doctor has glory and pay. A Nurse and Police has none of these. We are the true servants of blood sweat and tears.
Have you ever been to a delivery of a baby? The Delivery Nurse has been with the laboring Mother for hours. She has coached this Mother and done everything for this women to give her comfort and made sure that she and the fetus were cared for until the moment of delivery. The Doctor comes in at the very last second and catches the Baby. The Doctor gets all the praise and thanks. In reality he has done nothing but play catch. Most Doctors don't want to be called until the baby is almost on the floor. The Nurse does everything to ensure the Baby and Delivery are perfect for the Family and the Doctor. She does check in with the Doctor and gets orders but if that was not a law, the Doctor would probably be more than happy to not hear from the Nurse at all until the last possible moment. The Nurse gets to clean everything up. Trust me, it is a lot to clean up. No one ever thanks her. They just ask her for stuff and order her around.
Same with Policemen, they could do a million things right. Protect and serve a community and keep the peace for years. One thing goes wrong or even sorta goes wrong and now they are called out as being brutal and overly aggressive.
I keep thinking about our Law Enforcement. These Men and Women are out numbered beyond imagining and set out to keep the peace in neighborhoods that violence is as common as candy. They are not respected, hated even. Their jobs are impossible. In fact, it seems that the rules and regulations seem to favor the criminals and make the job of keeping the peace insanely hard. I think that the anger they display at times might be a release of some really pent up frustration.
Why would anyone keep doing these thankless jobs, if not a true calling to serve the wretched thankless public? Maybe they are not wretched or truly thankless but the job is.
I think that God chooses those whose hearts are the most giving and strong to be those that serve. I don't know. I do know that there is nothing I would rather not do. I have to be a Nurse. Just as I know that a Police Officer has to protect and serve.
We are cut from the same cloth, Nurses and Police. There is a certain selflessness to it. This desire to do for others before you do for yourself, sometimes before you even do for your own family. I can't explain it. I just know it is a drive I cannot explain.
Sometimes we are not perfect. I know that I pray every morning to God in his heaven that I will not do any harm and be a good Nurse every day. That I will be kind and caring. That I will make no mistakes. However, not once have I ever woke up in the morning and say to myself, Teri you need to hurt a Patient today and make a horrible mistake. Nope, not once, have I ever prayed or wished for that. I am also sure that a Police Officer has ever started his or her shift with the desire to shoot a suspect or hurt someone that did not deserve it. Sometimes, bad things happen. Mistakes happen. The last time I checked, I was a human being along with all the other Nurses and Police People in the world. People make mistakes. At least I do.
I guess a Police Person would not be given a gun without extensive training and time to develop the critical thinking skills to enable him or her to decide, when the appropriate time was to shoot that gun and at whom or what. The same is said for a Nurse. A Registered Nurse is a person with a degree. He or She usually has a Bachelors Degree although there is an RN who can have an Associates Degree. Both Degrees take about five years to obtain or longer. The waiting lists to get into Nursing School and grade point average are more stringent than some Medical Schools. Critical Thinking is a must not an option. Nursing School will possibly kill you. I have heard the same for the Police Academy.
I wonder why the Public expects such perfection from Nurses and Police People? Maybe it is because we hold ourselves up to such high standards as well? Again, I do not know. I do know that I have talked to hundreds of Nurses and Police People over the years and most of us feel the same way as though there was no choice but to follow this calling to serve others.
I hope that the Public will give our Police Officers a break. I believe they are doing the best they can with very limited resources and deeply angry neighborhoods. Perhaps the Police force needs some resurfacing and retooling? Perhaps? I personally am fond of them and respect them completely even, when I get a ticket every decade or so.
I say, lets embrace them and give them the benefit of the doubt and assist them to protect us better. We need them.
As a Nurse, I say that we remember that Nurses are people doing the best they can with little to no help wearing many hats working under regulations that can be crushing to the actual care of the Patient. Try and remember that Nurse is doing the best He or She can and will go without food, water and even going to the bathroom before letting your family member go without care. I know, I do it all the time.
This thing about callings, I am sure there are many called to do many things. I only know what I was called to do and I understand or I think I understand this calling of my fellow servant the Police Officer or at least I hope so.
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