I keep thinking about faith and religion. I have had the pleasure of meeting my daughters best friend. She is really neat. I like her a lot. Most young people are really so not interesting and quite annoying. I would like to say that most of my daughters friends are very intriguing and intelligent. This friend of hers did not disappoint.
I was able to have some really intense conversations with my daughter and her friend. One of them was the topic of religion and faith. I learned that she was not raised to believe in Heavenly Father or any religion whatsoever. She did not believe in any higher power, God or any form of anything at all. She believes that once she dies the light turns out and that she is simply over.
I think my heart broke. Just the end part of my heart, not my whole heart. I don't know why this bothered me. Intellectually this is absolutely fine with me. I have no problem with parents raising their children without any God figure. On the other hand, when meeting a child raised without a path to enlightenment previously installed, I had a moment of such deep sadness that I stopped breathing for a moment. How could this be? My faith was jarred just ever so slightly.
I looked into this young women's eyes and asked her, if she felt a presence other than her own guiding light or her own heart speaking to her? She assuredly told me she knew of no such presence or guiding light. She did say that her heart did speak to her. She felt as if there was no omnipotent figure and knew this to be true. She said that having faith in such things was ridiculous.
She did tell me of going to her grandmothers church on occasion and sitting in a pew. She told me that her grandmother and her grandmothers friends would give her pieces of bread throughout the service and that she would have a pile of bread by the time the service was over. She had no idea what the bread was for. She did not mention any of the words of the service. She only mentioned piles of bread and little old ladies who wanted her to eat the bread without any explanation. Like eating bread without any reason makes it more than bread. Sure it does.
Then I got to thinking about faith. So, just say....You don't believe in anything other than what you can quantify. You are a science type of person and you need proof and faith is this flower child idea that seems so elusive and cloud like. How could anyone have faith in something they can't see or feel? My faith is shaky at best. I always question everything. How can someone who does not know God believe or has never had faith in the first place even begin to believe?
In my heart of hearts I could not argue with her because how could I sway someone from their inner truth. This would be the same as allowing another to persuade me that my inner truth was wrong. This is something I cannot nor will I never do. This is so completely wrong that no one ever should do this. Perhaps this is the greatest sin of all. Maybe not, or maybe yes, I cannot say.
I felt so lost for her. I grieved for her ability to not know. Yet, she was not lost nor did she grieve for herself. I struggled with the thought of parents not sharing with her the ways of a spiritual choice nor a path to choose instead of one of nothing but an end of darkness. I had thought that a more complete parent would allow a child to choose or at least give their child a more complete education and the ability to choose wisely. Then again who am I to say?
I suppose I believe life is this amazing buffet with all these choices available to choose and sample. As a parent, I think that all of life has to offer should be known to our children. In the end or children will choose for themselves and it is our choice to accept or deny their choice. I always choose to stand by my only daughter no matter what her choice. Except, breaking one of the Ten Commandments then we have words.
Heavenly Father is my Father and he forgives all. He has millions of sons and daughters to look after. I only have one. I suppose, if he can forgive all of them and me, I can forgive my one. If he can love me no matter what choice I make, I can love her no matter what choice she makes. Simple enough, right? Isn't that the example he sets? Then it makes sense, I follow his example.
So, back to my first thought. What to do with my daughters best friend? I suppose there is nothing to do. Other than just accept her and love her like my own. My husband and I had already decided to make her our "new daughter". She is completely loved already regardless, if she believes in a higher power or not.
I pose a question. Is this wrong of us to not preach to her about God? Is it wrong of us to try and not convert her to Christianity? Or is it right of us to accept her as she is and love her as she is and let her be happy being our new daughter and being who she is.
What do you think?
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