I have this thing about relationships and how they figure into our lives. Maybe that is not what I mean. Maybe I want to say, how is it that a relationship can change each of us so profoundly and then be gone in a heartbeat? Or a relationship that is there day in and day out that really has no effect on a person whatsoever. Perhaps I should explain myself further.
I am amazed at how we each touch each others souls and change each other. How we can be part of each others lives and entangled and then suddenly the tangle is undone and no more. As if we are just a puff of smoke or a cloud that passes by as the wind dictates. A minute in each others lives or a decade or so and then gone. I wonder why that is? Some of us stop by for decades to meddle in each others days and hours, some of us stop by for a few days or even years. There seems to be no reason or rhyme. It is as if, there is a secret song that only the earth and sea can hear and we are the dancers. I don't know. I only dance to the secret tune and so do you. I ask only why do we have to dance at all.
When we are young we can be friends with anyone. We meet another young person and they are our best friends for the day, our best friends for life. At least we think that as we play our childhood games. We think that for this day we are friends and or friendship will last forever. It amazes us that as the day ends and our parents take us home, so does our friendship. We forget our friend and our new friends name with the setting of the sun. It is different as we age. We would no sooner become friends with a stranger than drink poison. How we grow so cold and ridged as we age.
We go on throughout our lives and meet people and make connections and hope to meet good friends and find that so few people are to be trusted with our hearts as far as friends go. We have been hurt, our hearts broken by our so called friends. We have been destroyed, distraught perhaps betrayed by them. There were so few that could be true friends. Maybe that is how God wants it. You have to earn your friends and they have to earn you. Through the ashes a true friend will come through the fire and coals to become that one deserved friend. A friend that is earned. One friend or maybe two that can be fire worthy. I have a few friends I can call fire resistant friends. They know who they are.
Then there are the lovers. Movies, TV shows and books tell us that there is this elusive romantic love that we all must seek. I am not convinced of this romantic lover that I am told I must have. I believe that there is one heart that will connect with mine and will speak the same language as I do. That God or whomever you call God has ordained this union through all time and eternity ...perhaps infinity and I will join with this person to create a relationship with which to enrich each other, bring goodness, kindness and prosperity to this union. At least I hope so. To what end then is there a reason to be in love?
I believe that being deeply in love is a wonderful thing and this love comes with time and a lot of work. I don't know about all the weak kneed love struck thing but I do know real love and what I have seen on TV and read in books is not it. am so not a heaving bosom type of girl.
I think that the love between a child and a parent or between friends is one of the greatest loves there is. The love between a husband and wife who have been married for years is true love. The love of a mother sitting by her child's sick bed is another form of real love. The love that God has for us is the best love of all. Romantic love seems so fleeting and shallow compared to what is real and worth working for. I would rather work for something real than have something fake any day. Wouldn't you?
When I step back and look at the rope we weave that entwines us all together, I think crap I never will figure this out. Nope, not even close.
I suppose it is like looking at a beautiful meadow and instead of trying to figure out the complicated eco system it is, I need to be pleased with the wonder of it. OK, I can do that. I will just enjoy being part of life and the relationships that surround me. I will always questions them and look oddly at them from time to time but I can simply treasure the joy that simply is.
So, I ask you, how do you feel that relationships work? Do you feel that there is such thing as romantic love such as TV and books? Or, do you think there is something deeper to it?
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