The shaken mind

I have begun to wonder about myself these days.  No, really, I have.  I suppose every person questions who they are and what they stand for now and again.  I think it is good for the soul.  I call it a growing period.

Lately, I have been working more than I normally do.  My husband and I decided that I would not work more than three days a week.  That I would be a housewife instead of professional nurse.  It was decision based on many factors.

I guess the first factor was the brain tumor and other health factors.  We just thought it was best I stay rested and focus on family.  Eventually, I felt great and I just wanted to work again.  So, I started to work in earnest.

Now, I am working almost full time.  I have to say even though I am tired, I am having fun.  It is nice to use my nursing skills and I feel useful.  Not that being a housewife is not useful but on a different level.  I still have the option to work or not but it is nice to be out there using my education and experience for something other than making a pot roast and folding laundry.

Anyway, my usefulness is not what this blog is about.  This blog is about the interesting conversations I have been having with my coworkers and what these conversations have been doing to my brain and how I think about myself.

There are a few of my co-workers that I think of as sisters and real I know just as well as any family.  We all have been working together for so long that there are not many secrets between us.  There are some people that have come to work in the last few years that I have not gotten to know as well and in these recent weeks I have had the most amazing opportunity to get to know my coworker friends better.

Here is what happened.  We were sitting around the break room table and a couple of the girls were talking about the TV shows they liked to watch.  I had not heard of the ones they liked but to be honest I had not ever seen them or even had an interest.

They really liked these shows and thought they were great.  To be honest I never had given any of the TV shows any cadence.   I just thought that they seemed so one dimensional and obvious.  Then again I was embarrassed that I found that kind of entertainment so silly.  I mean here are my friends who love this stuff and I have no idea what the hell they find so great about it.  OK, the stuff they like are shows like Mistresses and Desperate Housewives.

This is when I began to wonder about who I am and why is it that I like the things I like. I enjoy Science fiction, Historical novels, Historical fiction, Fantasy,  Politics, Social culture and anthropology I even like horror.   It had never occurred to me to watch a TV show about a mistress.  

So, I came home that day and googled the shows and tried to fein some interest.  I really want to bond with my friends a little bit better and like the things they like but there is no way I can get into that.  My mind does not have area for TV shows or things like that.   It is like I can't compute.  I guess I am going to have to find a different kind of common ground to bond with my coworkers.

Then I started to think about it a bit more.  I suppose they might make fun of me, if they realized how many zombie books I have read in my life or how many political geek books I can devour.  What normal person does that?  How one of my dreams is to go to Comic con or to a Star Trek Convention.   I bet they have no part in their brain to deal with my oddities either, yet we are still friends.

The one thing we have in common is our desire to take care of people.  We are all in the same business to make people better and I think that might be more important than what we like entertainment wise.

Maybe this is what made us all friends in the first place and bonds us together, this love of people and making sure they are healthy and well.  I guess my musings about who I am and what I stand for was shaken at first because I assumed everyone liked the same things I did.  Wrong.

Now, I am glad that everyone likes something different and we can all gather for a common cause in our chosen work and become closer regardless of our differences.  To be honest I am glad they still like me even though I am a total nerd.

Even though I was shaken at first that I was somehow wrong or strange because I was not like everyone else.  Then I realized that being a bit different was just fine and that everyone is a little bit different.  I also realized that I should have known this anyway.  I am a full grown woman for gosh sakes.

Anyway, thought I would share and update you one what is up.  Trying to balance working more and blogging.  Kinda a difficult balance.  I do enjoy blogging but it does take an amount of brain power and wit that gets eaten up with a 40 hour a work week and all the things I need to do as a housewife.

My goal is to blog on the weekends now.  I hope that will satisfy my blogging needs and keep you all entertained.