Is it really about the sex? Or is it? Sometimes I wonder what it really is.
The other day I had the misfortune of listing in on a couple who didn't know I was listening to them. Now, I could have walked away, but me being the nosey being I am stayed put and just had to listen. I am sure I will do some time burning in hell for this so I will share it with you and maybe get a reduced sentence. Then we can all share in the burning.
Anyway, they were arguing about what kind of lubrication to buy for the bedroom. She wanted to buy something that was heated and would be a helper for her "area". He wanted something that would not be slippery, when toys were involved. They really started to go at it and then they started to kiss. I was entranced. Kissing over lubrication? OH!!! MY!!! Now, since I was in my least favorite store, Target, and I was at the end isle and they were in ...I guess the lubrication isle, I had to see this one through. If only you could have seen my face. I slowly peeked around the end. In my mind, I pictured a couple in their thirties who was fit and gorgeous. Nope, I saw a middle aged, morbidly obese couple with matching stained t-shirts that looked like they had not seen the light of day for years. Maybe professional gammers, or something like that. OK...,my fantasy was gone and so had the couple.
This got me to thinking what is it that makes two people so hot for each other? Apparently for this couple it was lubrication and sex toys. What was it for other couples. I remembered a couple from my college years. They were the kind of couple that fought over everything. They fought over what to watch on TV, what song was on the radio (yes, we listened to the radio then), what to eat and so on. There fights were long and loud. Their fights were full of passion and tears. She always ran away and he always ran after her. They always broke up and they always got back together again. Eventually they got married and had a bunch of kids. They are still married. I asked my friend many years later what was it that made her stay through all the crazy drama? She said it was the amazing, drop to your knees, cry your heart out sex. I thought is sex better, when you think it might be taken from you?
Then there was one of my girlfriends I knew right out of college. She was wild. We were young Nurses together and we worked nights. When we had a night off we would go out dancing, she would take any man she would meet out to the car and have her way with him. Sometimes two or three a night leaving me to dance by myself (oh...poor me). I asked her once. what was she thinking? She told me she had the best sex that way. No strings attached. She said the sex was just a little bit better that way. I always thought is sex better dangerous?
I suppose questions like these ramble along most anyone's mind. Is sex better, when you think your partner might be gone or is it better dangerous? I suppose that depends on who is asking the question. For each of my friends I think the it mattered quite a bit and the answer was yes. For me the answer is no. I think the real question is this....Its really all about love right?
That couple in the lubrication isle. They obviously loved each other enough to lube it up for whatever reasons and got steamed up over it to smooch it out in Target. That is a lot of love right there. My Friends with all those kids, I am not sure really. I am pretty sure that is love. They have been together a very long time, even though they argue over everything they have toughed it out and you can't say that for most folks. Also, according to my friend, the sex rocks. who can say that? Not many. That must be love. Now for my promiscuous friend, that is what it is. At least my friend is honest with herself. She does what she does.
Yes, I think Love is the answer and sex just the happy product. Anyway, before you step into the lubrication isle in target, hang out at the end, you might hear some cool conversations. I know did and I didn't even try.
Oh...you want to know what I think about sex? Sex is one oh my five most favorite activities. Taking naps, eating cheeseburgers, getting a massage and drinking diet coke...these activities are not in order.
Perhaps it would be better if I did not touch this one with a ten foot pole. At least I wouldn't have to worry about what to lube it with. Sex seems to be the biggest topic in our society today. It seems to be every where, all the time. You would think that people would get bored with it and move on to other endeavors. The fact that they do not bears out Freud's idea that sex permeates our lives in many ways that we are not actively conscious of. I certainly do not claim to be an expert on sex. I am sure that another intelligent species that reproduces asexually would be able to figure it out very quickly and they could tell us all about it. Since we have such a vested interest in sex, it makes it difficult for us to sort out the essential from the extraneous. Personally, I believe that sex, aside from its obvious function, helps to create emotionally intimate relationships. But, like everything else, it depends on the individuals involved. Intimacy is scary and even some women would rather keep themselves unattached emotionally while satisfying themselves sexually. The point that I would like to make is that, whether or not we intend it to, sex affects us at our deepest levels. We cannot truly separate our outer selves from our sexual selves. Sex should be part of an expression of love and should be carefully considered before being engaged in. If sex were nothing more than a casual act then rape should not he considered any more of a crime than any other physical assault. Obviously this is not the case, and that underscores the sacred nature of our sexual being. To fully experience sex is to be aware of the emotional, the physical and the spiritual qualities that it encompasses and not become fixated on any one of them alone. But that is just my opinion, for what it's worth.
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ReplyDeleteWell, Dwight...whatever was in your comment?
ReplyDeleteI should have looked up. Ah..I see. I do agree with you. It is a crazy world we live in. I once asked my mother what a french kiss was. She had no clue. She said that kissing was with a closed mouth and that it would be improper to kiss open mouthed. I do not think I ever saw her kiss my Father in a passionate way. I am thinking that Sex was a very private deal for our Parents generation. Something rare and beautiful, something in private.
ReplyDeleteI do not know,when it all changed but it did. Really sad.