Saved at Target

Sooo.... I went to target the other day.  I needed to get ink for the printer.  I always have to caution myself upon entering Target that I do not need anything other then what I am there for.  However, I really thought that maybe I could pick up some pretty tops there.  No seriously, Target has some cute stuff..sometimes.

I went looking in the fat girl section.  First of all, there is no fat girl section anymore.  OK, let me re-phrase that.  There is a fat girl section but it is so infinitesimal that it is hardly worth looking at.  Two racks of clothing for us fat girls.  I am looking at these racks and I am thinking that the selection of clothing is possibly the ugliest clothes I have ever seen.  That, if I could have a stereotype for ugly fat girl styles and patterns these would be it.  I begin to sing circus toons at the clown frock looks that Target is passing off as fashion for the larger girl.  

Looking deeper in the sale racks and in the regular size clothing I find some items I think might fit me.  A pair of jeans, a black button down shirt and a light brown t-shirt.  Sigh.  How boring these clothes are.  I almost go back to the circus clothing but stop myself.  No clown clothes for me.  I do pick up a nice maternity shirt in a size small that is really pretty.  I will use this as tunic shirt.  It is a really neat trick I learned from a tall friend of mine.   Once you get past buying maternity clothing,when you are not pregnant, you can get some awesome stuff.  

Not feeling good about any of these choices and wishing I had a friend to help me.  I see two women shopping.  Both women are large women who happen to be Black.  I am not sure what the PC thing is to say.  African American Women, Black Women or darker skinned women.  No clue.  However, the reason I mention it was because I gave pause at first thinking they would not want to speak to me because I was white.  Then I decided I was being ridiculous and just went up to them.  I was praying.  Dear God please don't let them hate me because I am white.  I really need some help right now.  

I said Hi.  Please don't think I am crazy.  I need a girl opinion and you look like you would be my friends.  They both smiled.  I hold up my clothing choices in front of me and say.  These tops...are they just to boring?  I mean, If I wear the right jewelry and stuff with them?  They were both so nice and sweat.  They both started to talk at once telling me that, yes I had made some pretty boring choices but they could be saved, if I accessorised correctly.  We commiserated together about the fat girl clothing and then we bonded about being fat together and how hard it was to find clothes.  I wanted to take them home.  

I told them they saved me today and I appreciated their help.  One of the girls confided that she was having the gastric sleeve in April.  I wished her well.  She said she had ordered her wig just in case she lost her hair (that happens apparently).  The other one was hoping to get the operation approved soon.  I told them about my brain tumor and recent surgery   They were both so beautiful and honest.  I would love to have had sisters like that growing up.  I have no sisters.  

I am glad that they let me be their friend even for a few minutes and let this crazy white lady take up their time.  It felt like with friends like that I would be safe and never lack for anything.  Sometimes in my culture, your friends are not your friends and you spend your whole life alone.  In my culture, your friends would let you go out looking like a mole rat because its what we do.  I don't do that.  I won't do that.  I see it all the time and it kills me to think that my culture does this but it happens.  

So thank you nice ladies in Target who saved me.  I went home and figured out what to do with my boring purchases.  You let me be your friend just for a few minutes and be part of your sisterhood.  It felt good to be loved just for who I am and not to be judged.  Thank you.  If only everyone could be like the two of you, our world would be a better place.