I have decided that I want to loose weight. Not because I want a rocking hot body so I can make the boys all crazy. Bah! No, not that, I just want to be healthier. Looking better would be nice too.
Anyway, after the brain tumor, I started to loose weight. Just a pound here then a pound there and pretty soon I was thirty pounds or so thinner. I wasn't even trying. Things were kinda different. I wasn't as hungry as I used to be. I hated candy and sweet stuff and I just could not eat as much food. All good as far as I can see.
Then, things started to be so much clearer in the thinking department. I could remember stuff again. Not perfect but way better than how I was before.
I used to have two toes on my left foot that had this totally gross fungus on the nails. I had even taken prescription medication to get rid of this affliction. I went to a reputable salon and had regular pedicures. I saw a podiatrist. I painted that toe fungus stuff on them. I was even thinking of having the nails taken off. They made me shiver with self loathing and disgust. Then after the surgery, they healed. I was really happy but I found it kinda weird. You know, poof gone right after one missing brain tumor.
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia before I was diagnosed with the brain tumor. I know I have talked about that before. Also, I am just a bag of health fun....right? However, I am going to talk about it again. This was about six months before the brain tumor diagnosis. I was feeling so very sick and everything hurt. I kept getting headaches and I was so tired. My BFF made me see a Nurse Practitioner who specialized in Fibromyalgia. She assessed me and then sent me for labs. Her Diagnosis was Fibromyalgia. She did send me to a Reheumatologist for conformation and then to my Primary Physician.
I was given a prescription for Ultram and muscle relaxers. I was told to exercise, stretch and get plenty of rest. I was also told not to do anything stressful or be in stressful situations. Now, that was funny. My life was nothing but stressful. I was a Union Officer and an OR Nurse. Holy Crap!!! My life was painted with stress.
I have been without a brain tumor for five months now and with my Doctors permission, I am not taking any pain medications at all. I decided I just did not want to live my life popping pain pills anymore. OK, I was only taking one or two a day but I felt that was way to many. In fact, I want to stop taking Motrin and the muscle relaxers. I have found this spice that simply rules for pain relief. My Doctor approved me taking it. I wrote about it a while ago. It is called Turmeric.
I keep reading about all these fibromyalgia people who live their lives in wheelchairs or some kind. They pop Norco's or whatever every six hours and sleep 12 hours a day. I just can't be that person. I won't be that person. I hope I won't be that person. Please, God, don't let me become that person.
Anyway, after a lot of thought, I decided I wanted to loose the rest of the 80 pounds I gained. I have 55 pounds to loose. Loosing 55 pounds won't make me skinny. I will be pleasantly curvy at that weight and I am pretty sure that that is a good weight to maintain without a lot of effort on my part.
Today is my fifth day on the diet. So far, I find that dinner time is my worst time. I really seem to want over do it then. Other than that, I have been relatively much better than I have been dieting in a long time. Usually, I am kinda insane and I can't even make it to dinner let alone one week.
This self control thing over how I eat is a new thing I have not had in a long time. I used to be able to just set my mind on something and that was that. I would do it. Then slowly I could not do that anymore. It was like I had something in my head preventing me from being me. HA! HA! Oh, Wait, I did.
I find all this interesting because the Physicians I have been working with tell me that the brain tumor would not have caused any malfunction that they could detect. That there would have been a test that they could do or run that would show them or prove that something was wrong. Other than I had a tumor and it would need to come out eventually. That it could or could not start my hormones to act up or not.
Until this happened to me, I would have agreed with them. Now, I know better. In a really odd way, I am glad it all happened to me. I have a new perspective and in the long run, I have myself back. My word of wisdom to anyone who cares to know, is listen to that still small voice that tells you something is wrong. That voice is right 100% of the time. Unless it is telling you to do really bad things or wear ugly clothes and sharpie eyebrows. Just saying.
I have hope were I had no hope before. I have my brain back and now, my health is coming back. I have this teeny tiny hope that after all these years of struggle with my weight I can do it this time and win this battle.
Who knows, I am only a week in and there are many weeks to go and a lot of pounds to loose. I will blog about it from time to time and bore the pants off of you. I can promise you that.
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