Quirky Husbands

I have been with my Husband since 2001.  We met at a Grocery Store, Gad of all places.  I have never known anyone like him.  He has to be the most old fashioned, straight laced, stiff necked, uptight and proper person I have ever met.  

I was trying to explain him to my friends the other day.  He takes a lot of explaining.  We were all giggling about our Husbands and their quirky ways.   I confessed that it took two years before I had seen my Husband completely naked.  Sure, I had seen bits and pieces here and there but never the whole thing all at once.  I was pleasantly surprised when I finally able to see him in his all together.  

He was simply not raised to be "Free to be you and me".  My friends were all shocked that it took two years to see him naked.  I replied that I couldn't just toss him on the bed and take his clothes off without his consent.  He is stronger than me.  If the man wanted to be seen naked piece by piece, then so be it.  I on the other hand let him adore me in any dress or partial dress that would catch his fancy.  Yes, I just  used the word....fancy.  

I guess I was feeling like spilling my guts, I also told them that I had never seen my Husband urinate (go Pee Pee). Nope, not once, in almost nine years of marriage and five years of dating have I have seen him pee.  I on the other hand, I  leave the door open and simply do not care.  I don't see the point.  We are married for Pete's sake.  I mean, I have walked in on him and he has totally flipped out.  Before I can even get a grip on what I am looking at, I slam the door shut and run away.  He can be really scary.  

My Friends thought this was hilarious.  They had no idea how a married couple could not have shared something as basic as the activity of urination.  I shrug at them.  I have no explanation except that my Husband is just not that kind of man.  He is private and just likes things the way he likes them.  Good thing I go with the flow, because any other woman would just go crazy trying to deal with the Husband I have.  

So, being me, I gave them one more tidbit.  My Husband, will not let me jump in the shower with him.  I have tried telling him we will save water, that our marriage will be more intimate and we will grow closer.  The man built me a ginormous bathroom with a jacuzzi bathtub in it for us to soak in.  He has been in it five times with me.  Each time he complains it is too hot and lasts no longer than 15 minutes.  Definitely not into group bathing my guy.  

Apparently, most of my friends husbands bath with them on a regular basis.  They think we are weird. I guess we are.  Yet, I feel happy, even though we don't do what other married couples do.  My Husband says he is happy.  I asked him the other day, if I could watch him "go"?  He looked at me,  as if I had grown an extra head.  He pretended to be all mad at me.  He grumbled a little bit and then I caught him smile just the tiniest bit.  Maybe there is hope for us yet.  

OK, we move slow, my Husband and I.  We might be an odd couple.  He tamed this old hippie girl and I helped him loosen up just a little bit.  It works.